The only times I have felt bad have been when I have either Evaluated or Invalidated.
When none of these are present I feel great.
It came down to this one day and I saw it to be true.
I used to think that I needed to do something to fix feeling bad, but that one day I found that the only thing I needed to do was to stop Evaluating or Invalidating. As soon as I stopped doing so, there wasn’t even an idea if I felt good or not. I just moved on and did the next thing I wanted to do.
See, as one isn’t evaluating oneself, there isn’t even a thought if one is feeling good or bad.
Invalidations I think most have understood at this point to be something bad and inhibiting.
Evaluations have been in the shadows behind invalidations. They are just as detrimental.
To evaluate something that are factual to come up with a solution can be good at times. But see, you are not something factual or physical. So to evaluate yourself is comparing it to something that you are not. And so you wonder why you still feel bad when you evaluate who you are or comparing what you are with ideas of what you would like to be.
All of this is making you into something you are not. Even the fact that it is making you into something is detrimental.
Another part to why this is bad for your happiness is that it sticks you to the past or the future. To invalidate or evaluate it has to be measured against something. One then measures oneself up to something in the past or future. “I should have been like this by now”, “I used to be so much better.” “I was happier when…”
All of these are not in present time. When one then stops to evaluate or invalidate one then suddenly find oneself in present time. No ideas about if one is happier now than one was before. Just being, that’s it. Doing what one wants to do in the moment. This, is happiness.
This cognition came to me from doing several things and cannot be attributed to anything specific.
Beneficial factors were,
Living in the forest. Some find that the forest give them strength and power. My idea is that it doesn’t give you anything, and that is what is so great about it. It doesn’t evaluate you, doesn’t invalidate. Power and strength is within you all the time, nature allows that to be. Living in the city and amongst other people one is often invalidated and constantly evaluated by one’s surroundings. Nature could be said to be granting a total beingness to you.
Being open to change and to look at the things that bother you to the core. This one has taken me a long time to get to a point where it is a beneficial action. I still have a long way to go to be able to master this. Acceptance and patience goes a long way.
Besides these points I think everyone can learn and use this simple information to the betterment of their immediate surroundings.
Find something you are either invalidating or evaluating right now. See that you are, and stop.
Do this until you feel something release and you get a resurgence of your space and happiness.
In general though. To know about this mechanism one could catch oneself evaluating or invalidating much earlier, and so not get oneself down.